Transforming Your Mindset: Overcome Negative Thinking Patterns

A woman thinking about how to overcome negative thoughts.

Hi there! Have you ever noticed how your thoughts can impact your mood and behavior? That's because we have “thinking patterns,” which are the habitual ways we interpret and react to the world around us. Our thinking patterns can be positive and empowering or negative and limiting. Becoming aware of our thinking patterns and learning to shift them can significantly impact our mental and emotional well-being. So, let's explore the fascinating world of thinking patterns!

Some thought patterns are positive, and some are negative. Having a positive thought pattern about yourself will help motivate you to do things that might otherwise be difficult or unpleasant. On the other hand, if a negative thinking pattern develops, it could lead to unhealthy behavior or even depression. Therefore, it is crucial to be aware of your thinking patterns so that you can change them if you need to.


What is a “Thinking Pattern”?

Thinking patterns refer to the systematic ways of processing information, forming beliefs, and making judgments and decisions. Our experiences, thoughts, norms, behavior, and well-being shape these. So having a thinking pattern is like having a set of rules for how you think. But the result is the same: when something in your life doesn't fit those rules, it can feel like an attack on your identity--like someone has pointed out something about you that isn't true.

The thinking patterns are also a set of beliefs and assumptions that may control your behavior. They're your "default" or "automatic" way of thinking and make you comfortable.

One example is: "I'll just do it later." Another example is: "It doesn't matter if I'm late for work."

WHEN DID I START HAVING NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS?

The root cause of negative thinking patterns is that we're scared. We're afraid of failure, making mistakes, and being judged by others. We're worried that if we fail or make a mistake, it will affect our feelings and our relationships with others. And so we become trapped in this cycle of negative thinking--we tell ourselves stories about how bad things will be, and when they don't go as expected, we feel even worse!

What if there was another way? What if you could break free from your negative thinking patterns? What if you could begin to enjoy the process of living life?

Negative thinking patterns can have multiple origins and develop through various experiences and interactions. However, some common factors that may contribute to the development of negative thinking patterns include:

  • Early experiences: Childhood experiences, such as criticism, neglect, or abuse, can shape how we view ourselves and the world around us. If these experiences were negative, they might contribute to developing negative thinking patterns.

  • Environmental factors: The environment we live and work in can also impact our thinking patterns. Hostile or stressful environments, such as high-pressure workplaces or difficult living situations, can contribute to negative thinking.

  • Cultural and social influences: Cultural and social norms can condition our thoughts about ourselves and others. For example, a culture emphasizing individualism and competition may contribute to negative thinking patterns that emphasize personal shortcomings and failures.

  • Personal beliefs and values: Our personal beliefs and values can also shape how we think about ourselves and the world. If we hold negative beliefs about ourselves or our abilities, this can contribute to negative thinking patterns.

It is important to note that negative thinking patterns can be changed with effort and practice, even if they have been present for a long time. By identifying negative thinking patterns and working to challenge and reframe them, we can develop more positive and realistic ways of thinking.

Identifying Your Negative Thinking Patterns

Some common examples of thinking patterns include:

  • All-or-nothing thinking: All or Nothing is a cognitive distortion when someone believes they can't succeed unless they achieve perfection. They are unable to accept failure and will always try to improve upon something rather than accept their mistakes and move on. For instance, "I either aced the test or completely failed it. There's no in-between." This can lead to people feeling disappointed in themselves, often leading them to make poor decisions to get back on track.

  • Overgeneralization: Drawing broad conclusions or making assumptions based on limited evidence or a single experience. For instance, if someone fails to get a job after one interview, they might say, "I'll never get a job. I'm a complete failure." This type of thinking can lead to feelings of hopelessness and defeat, even though the reality is that they only had one job interview, and there may be other opportunities.

  • Filtering: Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring any positive ones. For example, if someone receives a performance review with primarily positive feedback but one negative comment, they might only focus on the negative comment and ignore all the positive feedback. This thinking can lead to feeling discouraged and undervalued, even though the overall performance could have been better.

  • Jumping to conclusions: Making negative assumptions about others or situations without having all the facts. There are two common types of jumping to conclusions: mind reading and fortune telling.

  • Mind reading involves assuming one knows what others think or feel without evidence. For instance, if a friend doesn't respond to a message, someone might assume that their friend is angry or upset with them, even though they haven't received any communication to indicate this.

  • Fortune telling involves predicting adverse outcomes without any evidence. For example, if someone has a presentation, they might assume that they will mess up or that the presentation will go poorly, even though they still need to give it.

  • Personalization: Taking things personally and assuming that events or other people's actions directly reflect oneself. For instance, if a friend cancels plans due to a scheduling conflict, someone might think that their friend canceled because they don't like spending time with them. This type of thinking can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem, even though the reality is that the cancellation was due to circumstances beyond their control.

  • Catastrophizing: Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen and exaggerating the negative consequences. For instance, if a person is nervous about public speaking, they might catastrophize by imagining themselves fainting on stage, being laughed at by the audience, or forgetting their speech entirely.

  • Emotional reasoning: Believing that emotions are facts and negative feelings are a true reflection of reality allows emotions to dictate behavior and decision-making. For instance, if someone feels guilty, they might assume that they have done something wrong, even though there is no evidence to support this assumption. This thinking can lead to shame, self-doubt, and a lack of confidence.

  • Should statements: Pressure oneself or others to meet unrealistic expectations or standards. The "shoulds" refer to internalized beliefs or expectations that individuals may feel pressured to conform to. Social norms, cultural values, or personal ideals may influence these beliefs. They can take many forms, such as "I should be more successful," "I should be happier," or "I should be more productive" When individuals adopt these "shoulds," it can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or inadequacy, as they may perceive themselves as falling short of these expectations. This can be particularly harmful when these "shoulds" are unrealistic or unattainable, as it can sustain the cycle of negative self-evaluation and self-doubt.

  • Labeling: Using negative labels to describe oneself or others rather than recognizing that people and situations are complex. For instance, if someone is late to a meeting, they might label them as unreliable or disrespectful rather than considering that they may have had a valid reason for being late. This type of thinking can lead to unfair judgments and strained relationships.

  • Blaming: The “blame game. Holding others responsible for one's problems or negative experiences. Rather than taking responsibility for their failures, it is often easier to blame others. This mindset can prevent individuals from owning their actions and hinder personal growth and development. For instance, if someone fails a test, they might blame the teacher for not explaining the material well rather than taking responsibility for not adequately studying or preparing. This thinking can lead to a lack of personal accountability, strained relationships, and a lack of growth and learning.

    Related Topic : Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Two women who finished their psychotherapy and happily talking about how they overcame negative thinking patterns.

We all want to be happier. But how do you do it?

Here are some ways you can start:

  1. Remind yourself that you're a good person

  2. Don't compare yourself to other people

  3. Remember that you can do anything you put your mind to

  4. Think about what good things happen to you every day. You deserve those things!

  5. List all the things that make you feel good about yourself.

  6. Write down one thing from each list and tell yourself how grateful you are for it!

  7. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves being present momentarily, without judgment or distraction.

  8. Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, try to challenge them by asking yourself if they are true or if there is evidence to support them. Then, try reframing negative thoughts into more positive or realistic ones.

  9. Practice gratitude. Could you identify things you are grateful for daily and write them in a gratitude journal

  10. Engage in positive self-talk. Encourage yourself with positive affirmations, and focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

  11. Surrounding yourself with positive people, engaging in positive activities, and consuming positive media can help to shift your focus towards more positive thinking patterns.

  12. Seek professional help: If negative thinking patterns persist and interfere with your daily life, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor may be helpful. They can work with you to develop a personalized plan to address negative thinking patterns and improve your overall mental health.

Some people are naturally more optimistic than others—and if you're one of those people, it's important to remember that those struggling with depression tend to have more difficulty seeing the world in a positive light than those who don't work with depression do.

Thought patterns are mental states that allow you to make sense of the world around you. They are a way of interpreting situations and making decisions. Your thoughts and feelings about things will change over time, so it's essential to keep track of your thought patterns so you can improve them.

By becoming aware of these negative thinking patterns and practicing cognitive restructuring techniques, individuals can learn to challenge and replace them with more realistic and positive thoughts, leading to improved mental health and well-being.

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